Hello All,
It has been a long time since an update... I have to be honest I was hoping it would be a lot longer between but God has chosen it to be different. That and my mom countinues to remind me, thats putting it nicely, nag me to get an update for those that follow and are not on facebook. Now being a mom I do have to say I understand the art of nagging just a little better :) That being said go to the bathroom, grab a snack, and a beverage and get comfortable.... I am gonna let it all out...
I am going to step back just a bit in time... About 2 weeks ago I started to come down with a chest cold. I started up the usual Mucinex and Delsym combo and begrudginly moved out to the recliner for sleeping at night. I let this go on for about 4-5 days. My cough was getting to me, I wasn't improving, and I figured I better watch my sats a little closer. They weren't horrible but they wern't good either. I desided I better allow someone else to try to manage my temproary illness as I was not making any ground on my own. (trust me that is not an easy thing!) I attempted to see me regular doctor but unfortunately she was booked. I took the first Urgent care appointment I could. Keep in mind I knew that this was not the best option, as I am no longer just an ordinary 33 year old but it was all I had. I desisded to leave work early and go home to get my big girl undies on and get up the courage to face the fact that I was again having a little backward slide. I got to clinic, I heard the good ole "Kristin Brandt". I can still see the look on the LPN's face when he took my sats...poor guy. I think he is still cleaning out his scrubs.... he immediately ran out of the room before I had a chance to explain, he grabbed the PA...and so the story began! I was immediately rushed to lab and xray. I have to admit a part of me really enjoyed watching this unfold. I started with the "this really isn't bad...I have been worse...I had ARDS... I feel short of breath..." I am not sure which one of those statements put these trained professionals over the edge but one did. THe PA remained calm but still was unsure with what I was telling him. I of course put in my "oh I will be ok at home I just need a little medication to help... this is just like how I felt when I got really sick...." Yep then came the second doctor and the PA went to talk with my regualr doctor, the next thing I knew I was admitted to the hospital and back on oxygen! I know right?!?! I was hospitalized for 3 days then sent back home on oxygen, with a couple follow up appointments. My regular pulmonologist saw me in teh hospital, thankfully so. He has a way of making me calm down and I always know tha tI am in good hands when he is runnign the show. It was this encounter that I actually realized that maybe we get along so well because we both like to have control, be right, and have a "intrest" in me being well. (shocking I know but I am a control freak) All was going pretty well. I used my oxygen over the weekend and saw improvement in my sats. Headed back to work on Monday, got caught in the elevator by one of the doctors that saw me and she very polietly asked me where my "prongs" were. Bless her for "busting" me and keeping it professional in an elevator full of visitors. Now that is sheer talent! Her smile gave me comfort yet a feeling that I need to listen to others, as they only have my best intrest at hand. (I promise some day I will learn that)
I repeated all my oxygen/lung studies at my follow up appointment, they really didn't show major decline but didn't show improvement either. Dr Risher then felt we needed to look into these episodes a little closer since this was my 4th episode of hypoxemia (low oxygen saturations) since I was discharged. He ordered a transcranial doppler bubble study to look for some right to left shunting of blood. The way I usderstand it is he was looking for a hole in my heart or some sort of "shunt" that was creating wrong way blood flow. They inject air into a vein along with some sugar water and then they watch it via ultrasound. Now the nurse in me threw up at the thought of having air pushed into my vein however everyone else was very calm by this talk. I am embarassed but I think I even broke out in an anxiety rash thinking about the air bubbles running through my body! ha ha I had that study done yesterday. When I walked out of the Echo room the tech told me that a cardiologist would read the test in 2-3 days. I then interpreted that as "yep it looked pretty routine and we'll be in touch..." However the looks exchanged by the two techs that did the study told me different. They exchanged a look a couple of times that said "oh, did you see that?! that is not a good thing." It was that look that I wasn't so comfortable with. Well the phone rang at 8:45 this morning that the test was positive, I have a hole, and I will need to see the cardiologist.
So here I sit... In a way I am glad it is "something" and that something can be fixed. I will being seeing the cardiologist April 20th. But in a bigger way I am sad and tired. I am tired of always having something to deal with. I am sad that I have to be faced with another procedure and most likely a hospitalization. I am sad for my family that can't catch a break from my health. I have mixed emotions and I know that in time I will absorb this and be able to rationalize it in my head. I also am thankful that I have so much support from friends and family that are right here with me. I know that I am not alone. I no longer feel guilty for requesting to be on call today, and better yet having it granted. I am having a food network marathon type of day in my jammies on the couch. I think that is what the doctor ordered for today :) I think I have the perfect Paula Dean potato recipe for Easter dinner, that has to be considered a success right?!?! I will have an afternoon chat with God asking for some peace and comfort while I wait for answers. (and I will ask him to nudge mother nature for some warm sunshine!) I will try my best to keep everyone updated and in the loop. I will post on my blog as well.
As Mark Twain said it, "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone up." I better get on that! :)
God Bless,
Kristin
